Demon Allies?
by Miakaghost
Summary: The four most idiotic, incompetent youkai in all of Houtou castle are forced to leave the castle to kill the Sanzo ikkou. They don't want to. Did I mention they're the most incompetent youkai in all of Houtou castle?
1. Default Chapter

Demon Allies?

Chap.1

"Chun." Mujitsu grinned as he set down the tiles. The copper haired youkai across from him paled considerably. Mujitsu twisted a silver lock around his finger, staring at Tsutanai.

"This isn't fair, Mujitsu. I swear, you're cheating." He snapped back. The two other youkai watching stole glances at each other.

"Aren't we supposed to be doing something else?" The white haired youkai asked, looking up from his book.

"Something, I'm sure." Geitou, the fourth youkai replied. "I simply can't remember what it was."

"Well, then let me refresh your memory!" A hand came crashing down on the table, knocking over the table and making the four youkai seated around it fall back onto the floor. Towering over them was Gyokumen Koushu, seething mad. "You four have to be the most incompetent youkai I have ever laid eyes on. Some physical labor will do you good."

"Uh…what're we supposed to do?" The white haired youkai asked.

"Mujitsu, Tsutanai, Geitou, and Heisei, I have a very important mission for you. You see, the Sanzo ikkou is getting dangerously close."

"And we're supposed to stop them, right?" Tsutanai asked.

"Wise youkai. You're not as dumb as I thought." Gyokumen patter him on the head.

"I'm clumsy, not dumb!" Tsutanai growled.

"C'mon, guys! We've got a Sanzo ikkou to stop!" Mujitsu cheered.

"Mujitsu, you **are** aware that none of the other assassins sent after the Sanzo ikkou have returned?" Heisei pointed out. Mujitsu paled.

"This is suicide, Gyoukumen-sama!" He whined to the female youkai.

"Mujitsu, either you go there, and bring them down with you at the very least, or I will kill you right here. I assure you, I'm not as merciful as them." Gyoukumen growled. All four paled, and Mujitsu whirled around towards the door.

"Hey, guys, let's go try to kill a Sanzo ikkou."

"Uh…yeah. Right behind you, Mujitsu." Geitou whimpered, following the youkai out the door. Heisei shrugged and followed. Tsutanai glanced about, and ran after them.

"Guys, wait up!"

Translations for names

Tsutanai-clumsy

Mujitsu-innocent

Heisei-calm

Geitou-stunt


	2. I don't Wanna Die!

Demon Allies?

Chap.2

"I don't like this. They look way tougher than us." Mujitsu whined. Heisei sighed and slapped a hand over his friend's mouth.

"Yeah, but it'll be less pathetic being killed by them rather than being killed by Gyoukumen-sama."

"I don't wanna die." Mujitsu continued.

"Look, neither do I, but I'd rather be killed by these guys than…." Tsutanai shuddered. "…**her**. You know what I mean?"

"Of course we do." Geitou replied.

"But…I don't wanna die, period!"

"If you don't shut up, Mujitsu, I'll kill you right now, and won't that be a shame?" Heisei replied. Suddenly, the tree they were sitting in shook.

"Okay, assassins, we know you're up there. Come on down!" They could tell it was Gojyo. Mujitsu shuddered.

"Is it too late to chicken out? Cause, like I said before, I don't wanna die!"

"Hey, we said come down!" Goku's voice chorused, and the tree began to fall.

"Eh!" The youkai chimed as they jumped away. All but Tsutanai landed on their feet away from the felled tree.

"Um…I think it's officially too late to chicken out." Geitou whimpered, staring at the four men in front of them.

Sanzo couldn't believe what the youkai were like; they argued openly in front of them, and were even talking about chickening out. They looked pathetic, sounded pathetic, and even acted pathetic.

"But….Geitou, who says it's not too late to back out?" The silver haired youkai whined.

"Th-them." The crimson haired youkai chirped in response. The white haired youkai sighed, and shifted his position. The copper haired youkai, who had landed hard on his rump, struggled to get up, rubbing his rear end. "Tsutanai, you okay?"

"Uh…I think…I'm feeling better now than I will in a few minutes."

"Yes, that is, of course, taking into account that we'll be dead in a few minutes." The white haired youkai replied. The copper haired youkai, Tsutanai, whimpered.

"Dead? I never wanted to go on this mission."

"Neither did I." The silver haired one whined.

"Mujitsu, Tsutanai, pull yourselves together. Besides, I don't think that Gyoukumen would consider our deaths a loss, seeing how we're only the most incompetent youkai in all of Houtou castle." The white haired youkai answered.

"Aren't you encouraging, Heisei….not!" Tsutanai growled, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Uh….you guys call yourselves assassins?" Gojyo arched a brow.

"Actually, we'd rather not. We'd rather run away right now, and live for at least another five years." Mujitsu replied.

"Run away? You mean, you don't actually wanna fight us?" Goku was incredulous.

"No….I mean, yes…I mean….can we just run now?" Mujitsu asked.

"It you don't want to fight us, why are you here?" Hakkai asked.

"Cause…..uh….I got nothin'." Geitou wilted slightly.

"Uh, you guys **do** know we could have just left the castle and done something else, right?" Heisei asked. Geitou started to strangle him.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier, Heisei!"

"Now, now, you two." Hakkai separated them. "He might have forgotten to tell you when he had the chance." He added.

"Hakkai, these are our enemies; there's no need to feel mercy for them." Sanzo loaded his gun.

"Aw, c'mon! We don't wanna die, honest! We didn't even wanna come, but Gyoukumen-sama forced us! Please!" Mujitsu tugged at Sanzo's sleeve with pleading eyes.

"Well, Sanzo, they **are** begging. The least we can do is give them mercy." Hakkai agreed. Mujitsu nodded.

"Yeah, like he said! Have mercy, Sanzo-sama!" He whined.

"Get off me!" Sanzo tried to shake the youkai off.

"Sanzo…" Heisei trailed off. "..We're from Houtou castle in the west."

"And…?"

"And we have vital information concerning the revival that you could find quite helpful. Like who's behind it all." Heisei continued. "You see, if you let us live, we might consider telling you this information." Heisei put out a hand. "Okay?"

"Hm…you might actually be the one clever one." Sanzo smirked.

"Hm….cleverness doesn't always have anything to do with competence."

"…Deal."


End file.
